Change
by Mikitchin
Summary: Zero's side on Yuuki being vampire... Songfic. Oneshot. Taken from the manga still. :D


**Change. by Deftones. **

Titled the same way because honestly, I can't think of anything.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters. 3

Written because it felt unfair that I wrote KanamexYuuki and no Zero stuff. :D I'm not a big one on first person so bear with me please.

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_**I watched you change**_

_**Into a fly**_

She, the perfect innocent being that I have always wanted to protect. The only being other than myself to actually live the teenage life of being between the one of a safe, normal human being and that of the supernatural. What do I mean by supernatural? That of which was only dreamt of by insane people and writers. That of which is the source of my personal hell, the ugly vampire world.

She, who was my constant light in the deep dark tunnel of existence. My own salvation, if I could be selfish enough to think like that. If only I could even consider her mine. She doesn't know of this side of me, since I have turned to what she has feared and what I will always hate. Bloodsuckers who aimlessly take away a person's life. They don't feel or care. They are monsters.

And I have turned into one.

During the earliest of my _transformation_, she was there to keep me from the brink of killing myself. How could I have kept from killing myself when I have become one of those who were the only source of my pain? When I have become the thing that I swore to kill? I can't even imagine how I survived this long. Maybe because she was there.

I saw her, sweet innocent and dumb Yuuki, in his clutches. He came from the window and held her to him. She was still wearing that cotton dress, she was supposed to be asleep. I know she wasn't feeling well. I know that she was confused and alone, lost about who she was, incomplete in a way. I couldn't have the power to tell her the answers because truthfully, it wasn't me that had the power. It was him. I saw her innocent face, the one that always smiled at me, the one who was caring for others and forgot about herself, the one who would hold my hand when I remembered what I had become. The one who would keep me from taking away my life. The one who--

She _used _to be there.

But then again, she didn't need me. She was troubled and that was apparent. He had asked her to be his wife, to become one of them. I was certain she wanted this. I was sure she wanted to know of her past as well. I am sure she loved him. Who doesn't? He is like the Prince Charming of every fairytale. The other vampires even follow him around and kiss the floor he passes on.

"You will never be betrayed."

Those were his last words. He took her away. Leaped into the window and into the darkness of the night. I knew it was bound to happen too, it was just that I couldn't imagine it happening. I was too confused and too unknowing of the events that happened around me. Not that things were ever explained around here in this type of reality. The things were never told or said or even laid out. The only thing you did was to follow what was told of you, a pawn to those who held power. Immense power that could obviously destroy a person with just a split second.

_**I looked away**_

_**You were on fire**_

She used to be human.

Kaname, the Prince of Vampires, egoist and was fandomly flocked by his kind and his food, decided to take her. He turned her to one of us. I saw her scream his name. I saw her break apart. She was gone. I saw him feed her that poison, kiss her lips and drowned her into this curse. She took it. She decided to. She wanted to.

I saw her hold his face, and the utter realization that came with it.

"Do you remeber Yuuki? Do you know who I am?"

He already had her heart, her dedication, her every waking moment. Why did he have to take her **soul**?

Anger erupted through me. Jealousy. Hate. I couldn't grasp it, my mind felt like exploding. It was worse than anything I could have ever imagined. It was painful, that was the only thing that was certain. Due to the way things should be, any living creature will automatically get rid of anything painful.

Destroy.

"I knew it, Yuuki's blood. I recognized the smell."

She even said my name.

Destroy.

My mind said again. Darkeness, cold and seeping. Why did it have to be like this? My fangs came lashing out. I could feel it. I took the gun in my hands, the weight new to me. My mind screamed that what I'm doing is wrong, I could hurt her. My heart complained in reply. Does it matter that I hurt her? She has hurt me! The pain was overwhelming. The pain became everything. It ate at me. I couldn't think anymore. The vision of her was gone. No light remained. She had become a part of this cursed existence. I couldn't allow that. I'd kill her if she became one, didn't I tell her that? I'd destroy every living one of these creatures. I'd get rid of them all.

"Stop it Zero!", she screamed.

She explained to me. In a deep rambling haze, she told me the truth of her existence. She told me everything. She is a Kuran. She is not mine but Kaname's. She asked for my forgiveness, that she had forgotten and the sad fate between them. She said sorry, for being one of the things that I truly hate.

She asked forgiveness... and I don't think I could give that.

They were siblings, which hurt much more. She was a vampire even from the beginning. These creatures which just play with me, even from the beginning. Vile creatures to be destroyed indeed.

_**  
I watched a change in you  
It's like you never had wings**_

She was my angel. She had her wings, fallen from heaven. She was always something I envisioned, in her cotton dress, entering my darkened room. Slowly walking as if to avoid waking me, she'd stand over me and watch over while I sleep, keeping off my nightmares. She'd be that girl who would stop the pain and the hate. Her smile would erase all my problems away. She was hope, inside Pandora's Box. She was that sweet little angel that told me to live on, because there were beautiful things to live on this earth for. Much like her. Sadly, she fell into the darkness along with all this mess. Her wings which used to envelope me in their warmth, her smile... The darkness had taken them.

The darkness named Kaname Kuran. The darkness which held me, and played with my fate. The darkness which cascaded on all of us, the curse in which I had to live through, my family had to die for. I could feel she was not the same, I could sense that she wasn't. It was her blood that kept me sane, this vampire blood which she gladly offered. I had thought she was just special, which was part lie just to keep me from my own demise. She had changed, I had seen it coming. I just never really believed it.

She wasn't really an angel, but a monster just like all of them. Just like myself.

I keep remembering the night where I had barged in her room, she had this short hair back then, with her cotton dress feeling really scared and I know. She was confused and very sensitive, scared most of all. When I entered she tried to choke me and I didn't retaliate. I didn't have to. I'd give up my life for her and she knew that. This innocent one that was so dedicated to me, the one who is willing to protect me when she should have known that I was more dangerous than that Kaname. To think, it is because of her that I had learned to care again. It was because of her that I had decided to fight within myself before the curse took me. It was because she was there, because I didn't want to hurt her and I wanted to... be by her side.

I was decieved again, by the same monster which I am right now. My only light was just pure darkness, and amidst this darkness lies only my hate. What is the point of existing when the only thing these monsters give me is suffering? Why do they exist? To hurt unwitting people, more people like myself?

_**Now you feel so alive  
I've watched you change**_

She felt different, the cold air around her, colder than the winter breeze, more beautiful than that of the snowflakes falling around her. This evident smell of her blood, this blinding hunger. It was like a fairy tale, the Prince and the Princess all together again. A Kuran, born a Vampire, a pure blood to be exact. I couldn't believe it. The event which was happening right before my very eyes. There were so many which were brightened by Yuuki, many lives which she touched.

However, I never thought of her own happiness, of what she wanted or what she needed. Yuuki Cross was a good girl, quite blessed than others, for being the Principal's daughter. She loved Kaname with all her heart, even from when I first met her, she told me all about it. She smiled at him, like a smile that I would envy, and I didn't realize that was envy back then. I knew I was no contest to such love, so I would honestly tell her not to hold back. I always knew that they know love was there, one way or the other.

In the end she used me, she used them, she used us all. To cover up her royal existence, to hide the fact that she was a monster too. Was she always like this? There was really a change from a Yuuki which was lost and empty because she was oblivious to her own past, to that which is now. A being more powerful than we could all imagine. If the fandoms of vampires that followed Kuran feared him for his power, how much more this princess which was hidden from everyone, even their own kind? Two purebloods to be exact. The royalty which decided not to claim their rightful throne, and I have their blood coursing through me.

Was all of it fake? Were the smiles surreal? How could she have done this to all of us, to make us all care for her and in the end leave us behind. You will never be betrayed my ass. She already did! She turned into a monster like she promised not to.

_**I took you home  
Set you on the glass**_

They had taken me, told me to be locked up on some cell because I was a "dangerous vampire". Most lethal to myself most probably. I was more confused than I ever was, the pointlessness and the emptiness of my existence bothered me. I couldn't think, I couldn't speak. I just followed because there was nothing else to do. They had won, turned her to one of them. What was there to turn into when she was a vampire all along? When they look at me they would quickly think of using me to their own willful end, to feed their own power.

I was a pawn and they all loved it. Even to her.

Flashbacks keep erupting in my memory, everytime I sense their presence. I remember again. I remember when she offered herself to me, to keep me from losing my sanity. I remember her shocked expression, her eyes wide with the pain. She, who was hurt by some fake trauma, allowed herself to be devoured. I shivered at remembering how good she felt. I remember it all to well, that she was completely irresistable when the scent wafted to me or when the hunger for blood would take over my sanity. Ironically, it wasn't only her blood that kept me sane.

It was her presence too.

_**I pulled off your wings  
Then I laughed**_

I tried to not think of her, to think of how they are there, to be numb of their existence. It was a constant reminder, almost secondary as breathing. The two of them similar, the scent hurting me more than it should. How can I stop thinking, stop the pain when it is even as constant as gravity? He came to me. Ugly Kaname, forever torturing my existence because he was born with more power than I was. What a complete lunatic. Or maybe I should call myself that too?

He came to me and told me who to destroy, why should I? He wasn't important, a bunch of users this flock of monsters. They keep ordering people around. They do it because they could. They are all the same, born with that ugly disposition that they could kill- or more specifically, they could eat humans. My head spinned when he said that Rido would be after her. He would be after Yuuki. He would not stop until he took her, that is why I should kill him. He knew that I could not betray her too.

As I said, a bunch of users really.

_**I look at the cross  
Then I look away**_

She stood infront of me, a small girl wielding a scythe. Death. She was death, and I feared it not. She looked different, felt different but why is it that I still remembered her? I remembered the girl that was there for me, the one that pouted and tried to open my heart. Kaname was right, I could never betray her, maybe even until death I couldn't. I wish she'd kill me instead so that she'd end my torment, this hate for something that you know you should hate, but somehow never had the heart or the sanity to do it. Yuuki Cross. My light, my angel.

She said she'll still be on my side. On my side? What side am I on? Aren't I just a pawn, to protect the royal princess, and to end the monster that they have all created?

I want to hate her, hate her smile, hate because she hurt me. Anything that gives pain should be destroyed. How can I? When everytime I catch a glimpse of her, I tremble inside. I remember all these things, as if on impulse. Even if I close my eyes, even if I force myself to forget. It is still her I see. This fake damned angel, the one I should hate, is the one I love and I am now quite willing to protect. Just as much as she protected me.

_**Give you the gun  
Blow me away**_

I stood over, watching her. Pointing the Bloody Rose, knowing I should obliterate her and maybe myself along with it. The thorns were everywhere, this thing, this power that I have come to be. Won't she just kill me? Kill me and end it all? I am going insane._****_

...I'm over...  


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BLAH. I know the trend with my stories is that the beginning is sooooo long and it gets shorter and shorter at the end. Maybe because I've said everything in the beginning? And as the reader, I think I'd get all excited and want to read as quickly as possible. Or something. Anyway, I hope this would appease the audience, considering it's Zero's self emo-ness of love for love that is lost for Yuuki. It isn't really Zero x Yuuki, but rather, accepting the fact that Kaname loves Yuuki ? It says so in the manga. Don't blame me.

P.S.

I think I can accept requests.


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